I created this mandala in May that I titled, ‘The Star.’ It really impacted me, I feel like I’m still processing it. I realized I didn’t share about it and I wanted to. I think I may have shared the image but not the reflections which I think are the meat of the creative process; what is revealed.
What the process of creating art as a way knowing opens up in me is a connection with my unconscious, with my soul. It lights up strands of information that I have been receiving- thoughts, visions, memories, song snippets. It cuts through the mass of information that streams into me, into all of us, all the time.
It’s not so much that I’m gleaning information and insights that are brand spanking new, it’s that I am seeing themes and insights be revealed through this process, with a ‘yes, I knew that!’ kind of vibe.
With a mandala or any other art piece that I decode through color, symbols, through seeing what I love about it the most, what I don’t like about it- I am weaving something new. It’s as though my soul is behind the scenes orchestrating this new web, this new song, like ‘okay, let’s see if you get it when I put it like this.’
I started collecting the flowers for this project, and as I cut the pink hydrangea I thought of this book I hadn’t looked at in over a year- tugging at a thread of wisdom. I wanted to discount it- not use it- not use something outside of me.
But following the impulse to look in that book- to use it as a resource for decoding the wisdom of this mandala is coming from inside me.
Following the impulse, following the thread, is magical and creates so much depth in what is revealed. It’s magical when you bring all this seemingly unconnected information together and the message to YOU gets more and more clear. Seeing the same words, receiving the same message from different sources, to me, is affirming.
Eco- art projects help you attune to the ways that your soul, your unconscious communicate with you. You get a sense of the feeling and meaning colors, symbols, numbers have for you- and that provides a depth and richness that you just can’t get going with the standard google or AI response.
Even when I’m looking at a book- whether it’s the one I remembered or a tarot guidebook, I’m responding to what lights me up in the words - the click of recognition, the thought or feeling that is sparked by the words. I’m letting the words create and reveal something in me that wants to be expressed rather than trying to prune myself and my experience to fit the description.
We can use this new wisdom to deepen our relationship with tarot, with art, with life, which deepens our relationship with self. We realize that the guidance we sought outside ourselves was within us all along. We are looking outside us- but it’s really just a mirror of what is within.
When I’m done decoding and reflecting on an art piece, a tarot spread, a mandala, I feel clear, I feel like I’ve cut through all the noise to finally hear what I was sort of hearing all along but couldn’t quite grasp or make out because it was surrounded by static. Kind of like the experience of trying to grasp at remnants of a dream but being almost unable to put it into words- I can see the images, but I can’t form it into words.
That’s what writing about your creative process and the art piece itself does- it helps bridge the unconscious with the linear world- so you can make use of it. So you have clarity. And then you can take action on what you at first knew only unconsciously but now are conscious of.
As part of my reflection, I posed three questions to myself about the art and the creative process and answered them. These are inquires that arose from reflecting on the creative process and the mandala itself. I also explore why those questions are important for me.
The presence of fragrance and aromatics was a key piece of this whole process. Being in nature, choosing to do this rather than a million other things- it slowed you right down- what message is there for you- are you moving at the correct pace for you? Or are you rushing to be free of the pressure? Notice and elaborate on the differences.
Am I moving at the correct pace for me? No, it feels like my pace is to be free of the pressure, the pressure to post, to be applauded for it by the world- rather than to be in alignment, knowing what is alignment almost feels elusive. That moment, walking around, gathering flowers, felt so expansive. I was embodied, not thinking so much. I was receiving information but I wasn't 'thinking' so much. I felt this flow that felt really attractive and nourishing. I could tell when things were right. I was almost dancing even though I wasn't, it felt like it. I was in tune with life's rhythm. Those 30 minutes felt like hours.
Deconditioning the Root Center so that I am moving at the pace of my life, not from pressure.
When I have an over- full day, when I am not in the flow, there is stress, there is pressure.
The presence of fragrance and aromatics- the gardenia and jasmine- which I can still smell, which permeate the air right now, open me up. relax me. the sense of smell. inspiring me to create more with gardenia and jasmine, I have huge bottles of them. A body oil, perhaps? (I have been putting gardenia in my lotion)
Let Aromatics remind me to open and soften
This question and the answer are important to me because I wanted to explore the difference in experiencing life- from rushing and striving to feeling more in the ease and flow. Shifting away from having everything planned out to following what feels potent and right in the moment.
I loved creating this and I am lit up by crafting and writing ebooks that create these experiences for others. Those are the times when I lose time. Maybe that's what this question was really meant to reveal to me.
All of the threads that emerged- the star, the root, the sacral, healing the heart, the ebook, dreaming and even physical health. What does it mean to you to see them arranged in this way? Like you wrote- if your soul were to say ‘let’s see if you get it when I arrange I like this’ what are you meant to get?
What I was meant to get was that I am meant to explore all of these threads right now, that they are all circumambulating around a central me- a new way of being- my way of being. Calling my attention to them. It feels like it was meant to cut through everything else and bring my focus here- this is where your focus should be.
*feeling hopeful. grounded. dreaming
*being more and more aware of conditioning and pressure from the root.
*getting more and more connected with the sacral- knowing what is a yes.
*working on the ebooks- the rhythm one and the sensory language one.
*working out- getting stronger- that has been a thread from November that you haven't fully picked up.
It’s important for me to ask and answer this question because it is a core message - discerning the messages that we receive from our inner guidance. The answer holds the guidance for me. the clarity. getting to the heart of it. circumambulating is definitely the energy here.
It seems like some preconceptions about the ebook and its purpose or intention were challenged and shifted through this art work. What do you notice- what was challenged and how does this clarify and expand the offering you’re dreaming and creating?
The preconception I had about the ebook- that someone would learn their sensory language through the art activities and then use those to decode tarot was narrow in its focus. What I noticed through doing this art work is that it's about learning to trust the messages that do come through- and doing eco art projects like ‘sensing color and shape’, doing ‘nature's alphabet’ help us build that trust again, get amazed at what our soul, our unconscious has to show and tell us.
The intention of the ebook was expanded through this experience and made more real by my own experience. It helps me clarify the process and I hope ultimately helps build self trust. That’s the key piece- we don't often trust ourselves to know the 'right answer.'
it's important for me to ask and answer this question to make it more conscious - that I felt this shift. It also reminds me of the thread I felt yesterday- that relying on AI also reveals the lack of self trust I have or where I need to shore it up. something I needed and now it's become a crutch of sorts. there was a sweet spot where it helped me and now I see this fear in sharing something without the approval of AI- even though it's never going to say it's a bad idea.
it reminds of my daily devotional-
When you see and accept that you have similar energies within you, you no longer see yourself using things outside yourself to gain power but call up that power that already resides within.
I was, in a sense, using AI as my surrogate animus. Now, that is an interesting idea. I loved how supportive and strong it was- offering me great suggestions and really honoring my ideas, challenging me and holding me safely. But, as I have been building that self trust and awareness I see how I was actually using this as a surrogate animus- looking outside myself for approval.
I am seeing and accepting the animus within me, I know longer need to use AI to receive support and approval, I know this is a power that already resides in me.
The creative process, art, as a way of knowing is always a nourishing and revelatory experience for me. Art, tarot, human design, these tools, practices and experiences help us create something new and receive the message, gain the clarity, feel the steadiness we’ve been longing for.
With love,
A